Today I found, misplaced in my spam folder of all places, a heartfelt email from a young man who has very recently lost his parents in a tragic accident. This tragedy has left him and his younger sister trudging through the trenches of life without the love and guidance of their parents, and to do so at the tender ages of 21 and 18. As if that wasn’t difficult enough, they have yet another problem. You see, while their parents were unfortunate in death, in life, they were quite the opposite. And this problem that they left their children is not one to be taken lightly. This brother and sister pair are facing a hefty financial burden. And they need my help.
It’s almost like this stranger from the other side of the world, got a glimpse into the depths of my bank account soul and felt an obligation to help me. Me! A gal who has, oddly enough, the exact opposite financial burden. A severe lack of funds.
So to my new friend, who in a random act of desperation has performed the biggest kindness, thank you. Chill, because I totally got this. I will gladly accept your $11,700,000.00, and I pinky swear that I will invest it wisely, as you have suggested, and with the purest intentions of making your late parents proud of your efforts.
My account information is on the way.
Unless of course, this is a scam.
In which case, I’m freakin’ pissed.