faith

Another Formspring question! Love these.

The question, asked anonymously, is: I’m a new reader of the blog. It’s fun. Are you religious?

Well, I could give an entire background, but you people would probably be bored out of your minds and not make it until the end. And I’d really like for you to make until the end, so I’ll try to condense it.

I was raised in a Christian home, went to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, took mission trips overseas and attended a private school up until my Sophomore year when I was home schooled until graduation. Sounds pretty religious, right?

It was. Sort of. See, while I may have been doing all of those ‘religious’ things, I was only doing them because it was all I knew. It was what I was accustomed to, what I was taught. As soon as I was out from under the constant supervision of my parents, I went my own way in terms of religion. I won’t go in to detail about all the different things that I practiced and believed, but I will tell you that I ultimately denied God’s existence.

Me, circa 2005? Rock bottom. Ugly stuff.

The only thing I could think to do at that point was to get back to my roots, so to speak, and see if there was something there that I had previously missed. And it literally saved my life.

Present day, I believe in God. I love God. And I believe that Christ died for my sins.

I am also a huge work in progress. And I know that I always will be.

Truthfully, I’m reluctant to even post about my faith. Not because it isn’t very much a part of my life or because I’m afraid of what others will think, but because I will inevitably be a shoddy example of Christ. I will screw up hourly. Maybe more. And I hate that. Another reason I’m hesitant to share, if I’m being totally honest, is that my faith is far from rock solid. I have so many questions and doubts. Thankfully, God knows the condition of my heart. And He is so gracious. He has seen and accepted me in much worse shape than this. And I am forever grateful.

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