99 problems

I do my best to keep things kinda cheery on my blog (even though I’m not always cheery), because I assume that people really only want to hear about good things. I mean, who likes to hear about bad things, right? Not to mention, it’s never fun to share the bad either.

See me, I love good news. Heck, I’ll even settle for semi-good news.

And that’s what I got  the other day.

But being all rainbows and sunshine about it just doesn’t come that naturally to me. I mean, I’m super thankful, but…well…I’ll just have to tell you the whole thing.

Back in September, I had a funny looking mole removed. It was super tiny and didn’t at all match the criteria for melanoma, but it had a weird halo around it, so the doctor recommended that it be removed.

The results of that biopsy were negative, besides a bit of inflammation and a referral to see a dermatologist for an all-over screening.

I was finally able to get in to that dermatologist last week, but the day that I happened to go there, was a super emotional day for me (it happens…), and so I may or may not have cried at my appointment. At the dermatologist. And for something completely unrelated to a mole of any variety.

See, I’ve had all sorts of weird health issues lately. They started back in September and have been pretty constant since. I’ve been in and out of Emergency rooms with abnormal EKGs, but normal X-rays. X-rays of multiple organs, too. I’ve had more blood work done than I care to admit and spiking/dropping blood pressure at every appointment. My body temp is low, I’ve dropped a little more than 10 pounds, I have occasional dizzy spells and I just don’t feel quite right. And tomorrow I get to go in to have some lumps looked at. Awesome, right?

So yea, things have been…off. But it seems that everything checks out on paper so far, so we’re chalking it up to stress I suppose. But c’mon. Who isn’t stressed…?

Anyway, I’m at the dermatologist and…naked (which only ups the uncomfortable factor), when she starts looking me over. And when she gets to my arms, she spots these strange marks. Marks that have recently started showing up at random, but in the same spot on each arm. Or shoulder, really. And they look like thin lines of busted blood vessels.

So she hesitantly asks me “Um, do you wear…some sort of…weird…harness…?”

And I started to cry.

Not because I actually do wear some sort of weird harness and she called me out on it, but because I don’t and I have absolutely NO IDEA what these marks are from. Just like I have no idea why the rest of what’s going on with me is going on with me. And I know that things could be so much worse, but I’m still pretty freaked out about the happenings going on in my bod right now.

Besides all that, I felt like she thought that I was some sort of freak. I mean, a harness…? A harness!?

Then again, I’m crying at the dermatologist, so I probably am a freak.

I could tell that my tears made her uncomfortable as she replied with a quiet “Oh, it’s ok…I wouldn’t worry about it…” and awkwardly went about her business, removing three of my moles.

Whatever will be.

Anyway, Tuesday she called to tell me that the biopsy results were negative (YAY!), and I felt like a champ for not crying this time. But she also mentioned that one of the moles was severely mutated and that I will need to come in every few months for screenings. Something about moderate risk and STAY OUT OF THE SUN and what have you.

Semi-good news at it’s finest.

So yea, I really am thankful. Because it is good news.

But I’d also like to figure out the rest of this mess…