saved by the bell

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror criticizing every inch of my being.

In and out.

Staring at the scissors through blurry eyes.

This is what I do.

When the going gets tough.
When I feel challenged and overwhelmed.
When it seems I never had what it took.

I change something.

Today, my hair.
Because apart from the bad hair days and the static cling, I can change this.

Control this.

I typically just rearrange the furniture, but this is more personal. Too deep and complex a hurt for a simple change of scenery.

Then the phone rang.

I lamented into the receiver as I usually do and fought back tears as I struggled to explain myself.

“I don’t expect you to understand. And actually, if I were you, I’d be super annoyed! But there it is.”

“Um, ok…? Well, why wouldn’t you just schedule a haircut?”

Always the voice of reason.

And so that’s what I did.

Still, letting someone else cut away at the exterior, butΒ my pathetic attempt to exert control over something…anything.

Too deep and complex a hurt for a simple change of scenery.

Strangely though,Β that’s all this is, too.

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