Awoke to the sound of my husband getting ready for work, which is mostly just the sound of plastic hangers snapping in half as he hurriedly pulls his clothes off of them without regard, to find a lanky 7-year-old planking/sleeping across my chest.
Got dressed after a shower and gave myself whiplash after trying to flip my hair out the back of my sweater – like I’m so fricken out of shape I can’t even dress myself without straining something?
Yelled out all the swear words.
No – like, actually yelled “ALL THE SWEAR WORDS.”
While making breakfast and drinking coffee, my internal dialogue had me pretty convinced I was going to pass out/die from earlier whiplash, so I made a quick call to my husband in which I warned him of my imminent demise and demanded that the world be ok with me sitting on the couch and doing nothing all day except watching Season 3 of The Big Bang Theory because it’s my favorite season and because hello, WHO DOES THE DISHES ON THEIR DEATH BED.*
Had tortillas for lunch, I guess…?
Tried to put on a brave face for the handyman when he came by to look at the furnace even though I a) can’t turn my head and b) am completely mortified and beside myself at the thought of furnace issues.
Made dinner, some smoothies – my new obsession – and peppermint cookies because if I have to get up and do something, I WILL get a peppermint cookie out of the deal.
Laughed hysterically to myself for my misspelling of peppermint while typing this: perrppermint – all three times too, like I’m some sort of idiot magician.
Probs have a panic attack before falling asleep because of mom guilt and how crappy I feel for not being super great at all the mom things today even though my children were completely fine with hanging out and playing sight-word bingo together in yesterday’s fort for most of the day and then piling on top of me to snuggle and watch some show about insaaaane cats for most of the evening.
And because my neck will surely stiffen up even more as I unknowingly toss about in bed.
*I ended up doing the dishes. Double meh.