GUYS. My misfirings* are literally so weird.

For instance, I woke up in a panicky sweat around 6 this morning after dreaming that my husband let a rabid bat loose near my head.

Now, I feel like it’s pretty well established around these parts that I’m terrified of winged things, but if you didn’t know, now you know. Planes, birds, insects, just…nope, nope, nope. But I’m always making exceptions for one creature, like “AWWW, BUT BATS ARE SO CUTE AND CREEPY!” and so in my dream I was like “Oh my gosh, honey, look at that bat! Catch it for me!”

…I dunno.

He catches it for me, of course, and it is indeed super cute and so I’m trying to pet it, but it loses it’s s*** and starts lunging at my husband’s face. And now the guy is laughing – because he’s nuts, I guess – while I’m over there screaming at him to let it go because the bat is hissing and shaking and just acting generally rabid.

He finally let’s it go, it flies at my head, I wake up near tears, vigorously patting the top of my head to check for rabid bats as if that’s a thing you’d need to feel around and check for…?

Thankfully, I was able to fall back asleep and have a much better creature dream about mutant turtles, but still.

*was arguing with my husband yesterday evening, heard a story about a dog bite shortly before bed, and a general love of bats and teenage mutant ninja turtles, probably.


Spill it.

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