Every earth day, my love of our planet and my crippling fear of other people’s garbage clash in a head-to-head battle.
It’s like, I know that plastic water bottles don’t belong all crushed up on the ground and Earth Day seems like a really good day to pick them up, but also whose mouth was on that, omg.
My germ-phobia aside, the kids and I head to our favorite park/place, armed with a garbage bag and do our thing.
We’re in a new neighborhood this Earth Day, but we certainly have a favorite park and an even more specific favorite spot in that park, so we headed off to the beach, determined to spruce it up.
On the way there, I remembered that one time a couple of weeks ago, the kids squealed “Mom, look at those gulls fighting over…a…plastic…sock thingy…?” Which was very obviously a used condom, and the gull that “won” the fight choked that thing down into its belly, and so I was pretty sure that we were going to get to the beach and I was going to chicken out, because hello.
Luckily, the beach was pretty empty of garbage today. Just a small Fritos bag and some balled up fishing line – things I could handle.
What I could not handle, was the bat crap crazy company that we had while we were there.
This woman was there with her two, off-leash, dogs. The dogs seemed very friendly and one of them brought a stick over to the kids and I. The woman yelled “OH GOD, HE WANTS YOU TO THROW THE STICK – GET OVER HERE, LUCY.”
First clue that she was insane, she named a boy Lucy.
Lucy wasn’t listening, so the kids and I tried to be helpful by walking toward her in hopes that the dog would follow.
She huffs and puffs past us, and says “C’mon, Lucy. You’ve gotta be on a leash now with all these damn kids here.” (My three kids were the only kids in sight.) “People in this neighborhood clearly don’t have enough f*cking money to get their f*cking tubes tied, but they should at least be on birth control…”
Second clue that she was insane, WHO SAYS THAT?
I basically have something to say, always. When I overheard a couple of moms last week talking about how my kids were “way too young to be at the park by themselves” and how they would “never be that kind of mother,” I walked right over to those clucking hens – because I was AT THE PARK WITH THEM – and gave them a piece of my mind.
But I was pretty speechless today.
Do you guys think the earth would understand if I dumped even more garbage on to the beach that she thinks belongs to her dogs…?
(I kid, I’m just a brat when I’m mad.)