“Mom, did you know that orcas sleep with half their brain…? So like, half their brain is asleep, but the other half stays awake so that they still know if there’s danger or something. I wish I had an orca brain. Not for danger – just so I could still walk around doing stuff while I’m sleeping.”
Tag Archives: animals
#tuesday
I spent the late morning hours in a lawn chair on my driveway – sipping coffee and reading about dark matter – while my little crew pedaled bikes and things up and down our dead-end road.
“Mom, why are you making that face?”
“What face? Was I making a face?”
“Yeeeaa…it’s like, a super happy face.”
Oh, I dunno, maybe because life totally rules…
On the real, I’ve been a little stress-pot lately – worried that my stay-at-home and unschooling days are numbered, because I guess money makes the world go ’round more so than angular momentum and inertia, but today was pretty perfect and I’m thankful for all that.
Also thankful that the bird above my head could hold it until I stood up from my lawn chair because hair full of bird poop is probably* worse than a chair full of bird poop.
*i say probably simply because i’ve never experienced bird poop in my hair (though one can imagine), omg knock on wood, why do i do this to myself
#thursday
Things I want to remember forever:
The misfirings* I had the other night, in which my oldest daughter found the Ring forged by Sauron himself in the fires of Mount Doom. It was basically just me yelling at her to get rid of it, her slipping it on and disappearing every time I would talk – so, ya know, super fun and not frustrating at all/also kiiiind of hilarious.
*girlfriend has been a super sass, i’ve been playing a lot of video games and a general love of LotR, probably.
My son at soccer practice. All my kids at soccer practice, really, but I honestly thought that boy was going to spend the whole season orbiting my legs. I knew I’d cry and be proud of him x infinity anyway because that’s what moms do, but instead he’s running around and smiling and talking to his coaches and was a MAJOR pouty pants when his practice was over because it was “too short” and he wasn’t ready to leave. Gaaaahhhh, so proud.
Every trip to the planetarium, ever.
How t-storms rolled through last night and my husband made homemade popcorn and we all sat together on the couch while I read The Hobbit until our babies fell asleep and I had to carry them to bed.
And this morning, the sound of my children FREAKING OUT and narrating the story of the mom and dad ducks that were in our yard.
“OH MY, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO PREEN MY FEATHERS, I NEED TO FIND A NEST FOR MY BABIES!”
seven-year-old snippets
“What can you do to make that wind stop? Anything?”
“I feel like a teenager sometimes.”
“I know I’m bossy, but you can be my assistant and assistants get to boss people around, too.”
“Mom, I like you just the way you are – I hope you don’t start trying to get me to tie my shoes differently.”
“WELL, I’M SORRY, BUT THAT’S JUST HOW WE DO THINGS IN FRANCE.”
“Ohhhhh, now I understand how eggs work. There’s no baby chicks in them yet – like, when we get them from the store – because they’re missing an ingredient.”
“What ingredient is that?”
“Love.”
#saturday
GUYS. My misfirings* are literally so weird.
For instance, I woke up in a panicky sweat around 6 this morning after dreaming that my husband let a rabid bat loose near my head.
Now, I feel like it’s pretty well established around these parts that I’m terrified of winged things, but if you didn’t know, now you know. Planes, birds, insects, just…nope, nope, nope. But I’m always making exceptions for one creature, like “AWWW, BUT BATS ARE SO CUTE AND CREEPY!” and so in my dream I was like “Oh my gosh, honey, look at that bat! Catch it for me!”
…I dunno.
He catches it for me, of course, and it is indeed super cute and so I’m trying to pet it, but it loses it’s s*** and starts lunging at my husband’s face. And now the guy is laughing – because he’s nuts, I guess – while I’m over there screaming at him to let it go because the bat is hissing and shaking and just acting generally rabid.
He finally let’s it go, it flies at my head, I wake up near tears, vigorously patting the top of my head to check for rabid bats as if that’s a thing you’d need to feel around and check for…?
Thankfully, I was able to fall back asleep and have a much better creature dream about mutant turtles, but still.
*was arguing with my husband yesterday evening, heard a story about a dog bite shortly before bed, and a general love of bats and teenage mutant ninja turtles, probably.
seven-year-old snippets
“I wish I was a rhino.”
“Oh man, that sandwich would look so delicious if I liked tomatoes.”
“I wasn’t interrupting! … Ok, I was. You win.”
“GOSH, I’M SO SMART AND FUNNY.”
“You DON’T want me putting my fingers in my eyes, you DON’T want me putting my fingers in my mouth, you DON’T want me putting my fingers in my nose…I know that’s how germs are spread, but I just can’t LIVE LIKE THIS!”
“I should be the judge of everything.”
seven-year-old snippets
“I don’t feel like penguins are a big enough part of my life.”
“Whaaaat, they cancelled that show? Well, at least YouTube will never be cancelled.”
“What is she in there yelling about you being the worst mom for when you’re sometimes so great?”
“If Star Wars was never made this would have been my worst life.”
“Uuuugghhh, peanut m&m’s are such trickery.”
“It’s so stupid that I don’t speak French.”
loud and out of key 