Farewell, Princess.

By now, you’ve heard over and over again that the world has lost Carrie Fisher.

I can’t possibly say anything more than countless others have said about her empowering contribution to girls and women everywhere, or her candidness about her mental health issues, or her pictures of her dog, omg, her dog.

But I can’t just say nothing. (It’s not my style, you know that.)

She was obviously much more than a character, but her role as Princess/General Leia was my introduction to her, and you have to know how treasured she is in this house for my grief to make any sort of sense.

On a tangible scale, our house is full of toys and costumes and wigs and books and movies and posters – all bearing her resemblance and containing her story – a story that feels as much a part of my molecular structure as anything else.

But beyond that – and beyond her most notable character, you have to know how much I appreciate real people who talk about real things and how we all suffer when the world has less of those people.

Be real. THAT is empowering.

Miss you, girl.

(Leaving you with a picture of my oldest dressed as Leia years ago, because duh, it’s the cutest.)bella3

 

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winners and losers

I’m sparing you guys the post I had all typed up about kids and sports and competition and participation medals.

Mostly because I ovary-acted and sounded awfully f*cking judgy for a mom who found an old aquarium admission ticket in her Star Wars crossbody bag with the word “penis” scribbled on the back of it, but also because I used the term ‘butthurt,’ and didn’t want the butthurt folk who might be reading to endure more butthurt.

Am I even using that word right…?

Still, to let you know where I stand on kids and sports and competition and participation medals without insulting anyone who might think different than myself, after my son’s first soccer game of the season, I asked him if they chose a team name yet and he was all “I don’t think so…but everyone yells ‘hustle’ a lot…?”

And I feel like he should get all the medals just for being so dang weird/funny.

star wars/life lessons

I spent all of last night consoling my oldest kid who couldn’t stop crying and didn’t want to sleep, because falling asleep meant that today would get here faster.

Today, the day that her next door bff moved away.

All three of my smalls had been dreading this day, but my oldest is undoubtedly having the toughest time with the whole thing. And like the mom/empath that I am, I’ve sucked up all of her emotions and spit them out in the form of sobbing alongside her. (I’m emotional for my own mom-ish reasons too, of course – like that my super shy son actually has someone who he’ll go outside and talk to, and that having such a good friend so nearby made their transition into a new house a piece of cake, and that he’s just a really cool kid).

And I dunno if you know this about us, but we’re those weirdos who get suuuuper attached to people and are absolutely rotten at goodbyes.

She compared their loss to Star Wars (of course), how “Red Squadron would lose a pilot, but the rest of the pilots had to keep fighting,” saying “like, we can be sad, but it’s kinda weird because we still have to just keep doing our normal stuff like we’re not sad.”

And she’s kinda right – I mean, he didn’t get shot down by Darth Vader, thankfully – but life certainly will be different. They’ll have to take the highway to each other’s houses rather than their usual belly slides down the shared-property line hill. Hanging out will have to be scheduled and planned, rather than as spontaneous as a daily knock at the back door and hours of riding their scooters around the lake and sitting in his apple tree before coming inside for board games and watching Star Wars (duh).

They’ve all made each other keepsakes (framed pictures, friendship bracelets, drawings) and have multiple ways of keeping in touch, so tonight when his U-haul was loaded and hugs were given, she asked me through teary-eyes if I think that they’ll really be friends forever.

I gave an emphatic “yes,” because it will not be said of me that my lack of faith [in friendship] is disturbing.

like lichen, only weirder

“…this honestly sucks. The juniors section is full of hi-low tank tops and short skirts, but it’s like – I’m 32 years old. And the misses/women’s depts. are full of khaki capri pants and flowery blouses. KHAKI CAPRI PANTS, NATE. Think about my life and tell me if you ever see me wearing those. Honestly, the best shirts are in the men’s section, but then I’m all ‘Oh, I really want this Star Wars t-shirt, but it doesn’t fit right because I’m not a f*cking rectangle’…”

“Geez, ok. So did you get anything?”

“Yea. Ripped jeans. From the Juniors section. Thanks, btw.”

He gives me the Kohl’s cash from his b-ball shoes purchase, I give him a pms-inspired earful of my thoughts on clothing choices – symbiotic relationship x infinity. (I kid, I’m probably the worst wife.)

valentine’s day 2016

Sunday was the 10th Valentine’s Day that my husband and I spent together.

TEN – CAN YOU EVEN.

We celebrated with a kid-less lunch, where I think he was trying to impress me all over again, because he was eating his boneless buffalo wings with a fork. Then we grabbed some iced coffee and walked around the mall, where he bought me a season of Girls and the R2-D2 measuring cups that I’d been crushing on.

My gifts to him were waking him up with a really funny story, a tackle box full of gummy candies, and yelling “DO YOU HAVE SECRET SAUERKRAUT IN THIS HOUSE?” from the bathroom door after getting out of the shower and thinking that the place reeked of rotten cabbage.

…Yea, he’s better at romance than I am – I am fully aware of that, thank you.

nerdy nails – kylo ren

*SPOILER ALERT*

Me, after my first Star Wars viewing:

WHAT HAN NO WHY WTF.

Me, after my second Star Wars viewing:

TR-8R 4EVER.

Me, after my third (and fourth and fifth) Star Wars viewings:

KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN KYLO REN
(Publicly rescinding anything I had previously said about him, because whoa.)

And then I polished my nails.

Needed for this design:

  • Black, silver, white, red, orange, and yellow polish.
  • Striping brush
  • Makeup wedge (for lightsaber)
  • Matte topcoat (for mask and lightsaber background)
  • SuperShine topcoat (for lightsaber and rest of nails)
  • An obsession with Solo boys, I guess, I dunno.kylo ren nails

nerdy nails – finn/phasma

Needed for this design:

  • White, black, red, and silver/metallic nail polish.
  • Striping brush.
  • Topcoat.
  • An evening to yourself. (I did not have an evening to myself and had to re-do the design a handful of times on account of having to fetch X-wing LEGOs from my dog’s mouth.)
  • A Star Wars obsession.finn and phasma