kid snippets – made up-game edition

“In this game, everyone’s name is Baby Jo. And we say it with an accent.”

“YOU CAN’T JUST YELL ‘INVISIBLE’ AND THEN THINK THAT YOU’RE INVISIBLE.”

“I’m a tyrannosaurus rex with tree frog capabilities! And I have wings. Actually, no, I just have extra skin – I’m a glider.”

“Who do you think you are taking stuff out of my inventory…?”

“We have a great plan: I run at one, he bites the crap out of the other. It’s fool-proof!”

“You should really get the baby upgrade – I’ve got the upgrade and I have RIDICULOUS baby abilities…like, endless regeneration, for one.”

seven-year-old snippets

“Mom, did you know that orcas sleep with half their brain…? So like, half their brain is asleep, but the other half stays awake so that they still know if there’s danger or something. I wish I had an orca brain. Not for danger – just so I could still walk around doing stuff while I’m sleeping.”

kid snippets

“This guy looks miserable – a missing leg, a missing hand, legs just popping off, a hook right through his head…”

“UMMMM, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU LOOKING AT?”

“Geez, just an old ornament of this Santa guy…”

Heh.

#motherhood #mylife

kid snippets.

“NEMO! Wait, what is this game called?”

“OH NO!”

“ELMO! No. What is this called again…?”

“OOH-NOO!”

“EMO! Or whatever it’s called, I dunno.”

“OH MY GOSH, WHY DON’T I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE I EVER WIN ANYTHING.”

Played UNO with my children tonight and it was basically the best.

seven-year-old snippets (conversations with mom)

“Mom, I have to tell you something funny that I love.”

“What’s that…?”

“At soccer, when my team is switching people – like when I’m on the field and one of my teammates is taking my spot – my coach starts yelling ‘SUBS! SUBS!’ and I’m laughing to myself and thinking ‘Oooh, like I get a sandwich when I get off the field!?'”

“THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER, I’M NEVER EVEN GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT ‘SUB’ IS SHORT FOR.”

“What? Well, now you have to.”

“Ugh. It’s short for substitute…”

“Oh my gosh, substi-TOOT!? THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE.”

seven-year-old snippets

“Jobs I would never want to have: a police person because that would be terrifying, and a doctor because they just sit around all day waiting and stuff. Boring.”

“HOLLA! DARTH VADER!”

“Oh, for peak’s sake.”

“No one even cares if numbers are backwards, mom.” (On writing a backwards four.)

“I like a bunch of different answers for the questions I ask – then I put them into a pile in my brain and pick the best one.”

“UGH, I WISH POKEMON WAS REAL LIFE.”

seven-year-old snippets

“What can you do to make that wind stop? Anything?”

“I feel like a teenager sometimes.”

“I know I’m bossy, but you can be my assistant and assistants get to boss people around, too.”

“Mom, I like you just the way you are – I hope you don’t start trying to get me to tie my shoes differently.”

“WELL, I’M SORRY, BUT THAT’S JUST HOW WE DO THINGS IN FRANCE.”

“Ohhhhh, now I understand how eggs work. There’s no baby chicks in them yet – like, when we get them from the store – because they’re missing an ingredient.”
“What ingredient is that?”
“Love.”